Thinking Outside the Box and Coloring Between the Lines
When I was in first grade, I vividly remember coming home with my first bad grade, complete with red marks from my teacher. My mom sat with me and we went over the worksheet in an effort to try and figure out the disconnect. As I sat with my...
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What I Didn’t See Coming – Christmas 2017
One of the first lessons you learn when grieving a loss, is to steel yourself for certain significant moments. You plan for the “big days” – like birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries of the death, etc. You learn quickly that the days leading up to the event are often harder than...
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Christmas Ornaments & The Stories They Tell
There’s an ornament on our tree that hangs front and center now. It’s a beautiful glass ornament with Rylie’s face shining through. Surrounding her, the lights of the tree twinkle through the glass and glimmer off the gold sequins that rest inside it. It’s the perfect ornament in so...
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Wrestling with Surrender – Part 2
When I wrestle, I run. Literally… Science has shown that bilateral movement helps our brains process challenging things. My counselor explained it to me one time and I was fascinated – not only because it’s just interesting, but because it helped explain why when things get tough I run. ...
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Wrestling with Surrender – Part 1
I’m a wrestler. No, not a WWE wrestler, but a wrestler of ideas. I value the ability to let an idea marinate in my brain for a while. To hold it up to different lights and test its muster. To say it out loud and see how it bounces...
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The Masks We Wear
Many of us wear a “mask” of some sorts nearly everyday. We hide behind a carefully constructed facade, giving off a distinctly crafted vibe. We scurry through our lives afraid that someone might pause long enough to realize that what they see is a trick of costumery. Each morning,...
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Little Reminders & The “What ifs”
The week before Halloween, I found myself missing Rylie a little more than usual. It was a busy week, so I was more tired than usual. Lack of sleep always affects how I cope, but it was also just a week full of activities that Rylie would have enjoyed. ...
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Six Months Later
Six months ago at about this time, I was having lunch for the last time with Rylie. At that moment, I had no idea that a few short hours from then would be the last time I would ever hear her voice, see her blue eyes glitter at me,...
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The Power of Comparison
As a society, we’ve grown accustomed to making comparisons. Sometimes these comparisons can motivate us and make us stronger. Other times they can be harmful – making us wonder if we’ll ever be good enough, fast enough, strong enough or just plain old enough. When Rylie and Tanner were...
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“Celebrating” Rylie’s 13th Birthday
There are many things in this world that I don’t understand. Some hit very close to home, while others are so big and worldly that I can’t even begin to fathom them. Thirteen years ago Ziggy and I were given the most amazing gift in the world. We held...
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